Lee High School - Huntsville Alabama Alumni

The Amazing Human Mind

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt !.!.!

No Wonder English is the Most Difficult Language to Learn!

submitted by Barbara Wilkerson Donnelly

class of '64

After a brief exchange with Bobby Cochran re: the Amazing Human Mind e-mail (the one where you find that you can read a paragraph which has all the words scrambled), during which I could read every word he "wrote" with the exception of the word "English," I started thinking about the irony of an English major not recognizing that particular word! After considering and reconsidering my suspicion that English majors are more than a little strange, I happened to tune into public radio on the way to the Clemson game last weekend. One of my favorites, Garrison Keillor's "Lake Woebegon" was playing, and it just happened to be the one where a fellow is locked in a Port-a-John at the county fair and randomly dials a phone number for help. A PI answers his phone and is the receiver of a sob story from this fellow. Finally the logical PI asks the fellow why he didn't just beat on the door and say, "Help! Let me out!"

The Port-a-John prisoner's response: "Because I'm an English major." Then he went on to tell him that he was supposed to meet his wife at the English major's booth at the fair, blah, blah, blah.

I started thinking that his statement was correct, at least as far as I'm concerned. If I were to find myself in a similar situation, I'd pound on the door and say, "Help me. I'm locked in a Port-a-John, and I'm supposed to meet my husband at the English major's booth. When I came in here, I threw the latch correctly, I'm sure, but now it won't open, and I don't know . . . hello, is anyone out there?" An English major will take at least a three-sentence paragraph to say what another person could say in three or four words.

Since we've been using former textbooks on the website, and to make amends for my rude comments about Dick, Jane, Sally, Spot, and Puff, I submit the following for your perusal (or: Here's something for you to read.)! This is dedicated to Mrs. Parks and Ms. Faulkner for never giving up on any of us.

To All Who Reed and Right...

Subject: We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose . . . and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him, but imagine the feminine as being she, shis, and shim.

Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English instead of having to learn to correctly use the following:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

Multiple pronunciations can mess up your mind! For example . . . If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but cannot make one a mend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it -- one odd and one end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane! In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And last, but certainly not least . . . If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop? Think about it.

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Sonny Turner

Hello group,

The only record that comes to mind - " What it was, was football" by Andy Griffith. I remember hearing it for the first time on WVOK the mighty 690 AM out of Birmingham and on the Joe Rumore show. May have mis-spelled his last name as that was a long time ago.

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John Scales, Class of '66

"What is Was Was Football" by Deacon Andy Griffith.

I'm still tryin' not to step in somethin'.

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Annette McCraney, Class of '64

I think the 45 was a single from a Bill Cosby album..He had a routine call "What it Was Was Football" It was about his football team from Temple University I think. The game, as I recall, was being filmed and the coach said "NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, DO NOT

TOUCH CERTAIN PARTS OF YOUR BODY!!!!!! Of course, he was injured in "certain parts", and all he could do was grab his head. A very funny guy....

(Editor's Note: Good story but wrong answer. Actually the Bill Cosby routine was also a hoot. Also, for those of you who really care, the "What It Was Was Football was not an album, it was actually a doubled sided 78rpm record with Part 1 on the front side and Part 2 on the back.)

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Barbara Wilkerson Donnelly, Class of '64

"What it was, was football!" As told by Andy Griffith. Now, I could be wrong -- I was once, but I think this is correct. It was one of the funniest albums I've EVER heard. I heard it recently and laughed just as hard as the first time. Even though I'm a HUGE football fan

(Auburn, Clemson, and the Carolina Panthers), this record puts it all into perspective -- unless you're a male, I suppose!

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Mike Griffith, Class of '66

The Lee-Bay item of the week is "What It Was, Was Football" by Deacon (we like to call him Cousin) Andy Griffith. One of the more colorful quotes from the bit was when he had determined that the objective

of the game was to take the "punkin and run around without getting knocked down or steppin' in something." To me one of the funniest bits that I

remember from Andy was a more subtle bit in the movie "No Time for Sergeants." Playing a slow country boy that authorities had to bring in to answer his draft call, the first act of his "first difficult days of military service" was to complete a government form. The person in authority told them to fill out the form by writing their "last name first, first name, middle initial last." Following instructions explicitly, Will A. Stockdale wrote "Stockdale Will Will A. Stockdale."

When I went into the Army I very briefly considered trying this approach, but neither the people at the Montgomery induction center nor the drill sergeants that met our bus at Ft. Benning seemed to have much

of a sense of humor ... I decided to take the low profile

approach!

(Editor's Note: My favorite part in "No Time..." was when he was on the airplane trying to talk and he would spit in the back of it like his pa did to their old radio back home.)

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Chip Smoak, Class of '66

The Lee-Bay Item is a LP recording of "What It Was, Was Football" by Deacon Andy Griffith. I've known quite a few who tried to run from one end of the cow pasture to the other that got knocked down or stepped in something or both. The album had several of his comedic routines such as Shadows on the

Wall and Romeo and Juliet. It was always good for several chuckles.

Same church but a different pew: How many of you remember a song by Joe Tex called "Skinny Legs and All"?

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Phil Rairigh, Class of '64

Deacon Andy Griffith was the culprit and "What it was, was football".

I knew just about the whole routine by heart too. I remember how they would run into one another and throw one another down, and then throw that punkin away. But seriously, or trivially, can anyone remember the routine on the "B" side of that record? I knew more than one teacher in two different states who were horrified if you started quoting from it.

Keep up the good work,

(Editor's Note: I'm going to guess that the routine you are speaking of was Romeo and Juliette. Am I right?

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Subject: Last wee's Traveller's Test

Barbara Wilkerson Donnelly

Class of '64

Alice Ann!!!! I'm about to go crazy!!! (I have had two Cosmopolitans at this point, however!) I have done the math in my head (which I'm usually very good at!), and I get 5000! Then I did it on a calculator, and I got 4100. Then I did it again, both ways, and I got 5000 and 4100

again! Help!! Tell me what's going on here. I cannot believe this. But I did get the second place and the daughter questions right, so I guess there's hope for me, huh? No more Cosmos!

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Subject: mini-reunion 11/6

Linda Kinkle Cianci

Class of ‘66

Tommy, We (Mike and I) are interested in getting together with anyone in this area when you’re in Nashville on Nov. 6.

(Editor's Note: I really meant for the reunion to be November 6th, a Saturday night, not the 7th. I hope this doesn't change things.)

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Subject: Barry Koehler

Barb Biggs Knott

Class of '66

I was saddened to hear of Barry's passing. It always makes me nostalgic to pull out my '66 yearbook and look back on all the faces we have lost. Barry is another in a long list of classmates that I remember from high school but then after I moved north, lost touch with. My thoughts and prayers are with his daughter and brother. It sounds like he really enjoyed his life and accomplished quite a lot.

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Subject: Barry Koehler's Death

Barbara Wilkerson Donnelly

Class of '64

I am so sorry to hear of Barry's death. I did not know him, but I feel every LHS loss as the loss of a friend. I know that most of you understand what I mean. Ed's dad came to Huntsville to work for Boeing, also. I have visited many websites and have found that we have a most unique group of people -- we actually bonded way back when and have kept the bonds intact, even though sometimes we don't actually talk to each other for years. It's special, guys! What can I say? I'm looking forward to seeing all of you next August and so sorry that Barry's family/friends will be missing him. My thoughts and prayers will be with them and with each of you who have lost someone you love. I hope that those of you who haven't been able to make the last few reunions will make the effort to be at this one. We just don't know when it will be the last one, do we?

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Subject: Space City

Escoe German Beatty

Class of '65

Tommy I'm not absolutely sure but I think to old Space City project was suppose to be around the "Lady Ann Lake" area. It never developed, as we all know. What did develop there years later, after they cleared out all

the water moccasins, was a subdivision called Edgewater. It is a very nice upscaled nighborhood. They say they cleared out all those snakes by dumping

thousands of ping pong balls out around the lake and the snakes ate them and died. Local lore or tidbit???!!

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(Editor's Note: This sounds like another Urban Legend that needs to be addressed. Any takers out there?

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A Few Laughs Sent In By Many Classmates

Thanks To All of You

Three friends from the local congregation were asked "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Collins said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Sarajane commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

David Mullins said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

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Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.

Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.

Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me - I know we've been friends for a long time - but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

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Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine October day.

Bobby remarked to the others, "Windy, isn't it?"

"No," Tommy replied, "it's Thursday."

And Butch chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

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Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards...........

I must admit, you brought religion into my life...

(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think how lucky I am...

(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....

(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

When we were together, you said you'd die for me...

(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your

promise.

I'm so miserable without you...

(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here

You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was

only one life jacket...

(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

If you can read this, thank a teacher....

(Inside card) If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier."

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